Thoughts on Love

I was listening to the radio, and Billy Currington’s song “Must Be Doing Something Right” came on. I’ve heard this song a thousand times, but this time one of the lines caught me: “Don’t know what I did/ to earn a love like this/ but baby I must be doing something right.” Whoa, hold on. Love is earned? You give me what I want—happy feelings, a feeling of importance, physical pleasure, whatever—and I’ll give you love. And if you don’t…No love for you buddy! Sounds like a job: do the work, and you’ll get paid. If you don’t perform well, there’s always someone else willing to take your place.

So is that what love is? Just give-and-take, tit-for-tat? I think most people in our culture would say it isn’t. They would say love is a feeling you have for people you care about; it’s an emotion—the “warm fuzzies” or whatever. But think about this. If someone—sibling, coworker, boyfriend, wife, parents—if they irritate you, how do you feel about them? Do you feel loving? Or do you feel like yelling at them, slapping them, ignoring them, hurting them? I don’t know about you, but I feel more like screaming at them and hurting them. So then, if love is a feeling, then it isn’t there all the time. Sometimes it can go away for good. Why is this?

People are hard-wired to be selfish. We want what we want, when, how, and where we want it. So when things don’t go our way, we don’t usually respond very well. So, taking this into consideration, consider love as a feeling. If love is a feeling, then we love people when they make us feel good, and love stops when they make us feel mad, upset, sad, insecure, or unimportant. So, love is the reward they get for making us feel good. Did you catch that? It’s a reward. It’s payment for doing something for us. It’s earned.

So, while most people would say that love isn’t something you have to earn, they treat people around them like it is.

Obviously I disagree with this definition of love. Then what do I think it is? Well, as a follower of Christ, it’s my job to search for God’s definition of love. Here are some ways God defines love:

“Love is patient, love is kind.

Love does not envy;

is not boastful; is not conceited;

does not act improperly;

is not selfish; is not provoked;

does not keep a record of wrongs;

finds no joy in unrighteousness [righteousness is being right with God. It’s not, as some people think, following all the rules.],

but rejoices in the truth;

bears all things,

believes all things,

hopes all things,

endures all things.

Love never ends.”

1Corinthians 13:4-8a

[This is Jesus talking to his followers]

“As the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you. Remain in My love. If you keep My commands you will remain in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commands and remain in His love. I have spoken these things to you so that My joy may be in you and your joy may be complete. This is My command: love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, that someone would lay down his life for his friends.”

John 15:9-13

So, according to these verses… love isn’t actually an emotion at all. It’s giving. It’s serving. It’s uncomplaining, unselfish, patient, and hopeful. It sees the good in people and ignores everything irritating, petty, and mean. Love is caring about other people more than yourself. Love is when someone gives up what they want so that someone else can enjoy it. Love is a choice.

God didn’t have to save us from our pathetic, miserable, twisted existence. He did not have to give us sunsets or friends or hot fudge sundaes or music. He didn’t have to give us talents and abilities and opportunities. He did not have to send his Son to die an unspeakably cruel death so that we could be right with/ have a relationship with Him. For that matter, Jesus did not have to be beaten and mocked and stripped and nailed to a cross. But He chose to. Because He loves us.

And we are called to love others like that. We are called to give everything away, to God and to the people around us. Yet, we find it hard to let someone else go in front of us at the checkout line in Wal-Mart. What a shame. By choosing not to love as God loves, we’re only making our own lives more miserable. Ironic, isn’t it?

“Dear friends, let us love one another, because love is from God, and everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, because God is love. God’s love was revealed among us in this way: God sent His One and Only Son into the world so that we might live through Him.” 1 John 4:7-9

Oklahoma Sky

I was looking through my photos to see if I could get any blogging ideas from them. And I noticed that I had a lot of pictures of the sky. That is my absolute favorite thing about Oklahoma (although the wind is a close second--yeah, I know, I'm weird). The sky is so wide open here. It's like a big canvas that God totally redoes every single day--sometimes, every minute. When I lived in New York I missed it, and I'd walk down to the East River just to get a glimpse of it. So, here are a few (not all) of the pictures I've taken of the Oklahoma sky.

just after a thunderstorm

Sunset from my front yard

Taken in the Wal-Mart parking lot. Haha.

Sunset from my front yard

Another picture after a thunderstorm (I think it's the same storm as above.)

This is my laptop background.

Taken at Ray Trent Park.

Taken last spring.

Sunset--again, from my front yard.

Sunset at the pond behind my church.

Boycotting Chick-fil-A? Seriously?

Ok, so apparently gay people are now boycotting Chick-fil-A because they served their sandwiches at a Christian marriage conference. They’re saying “If you’re eating Chick-fil-A, you’re eating anti-gay.” Come on. You’ve got to be kidding me. First of all, Chick-fil-A serves sandwiches at ALL KINDS of events—from football and basketball games to normal school lunches to all kinds of conferences. They are a business. They want to earn money. Second of all, Chick-fil-A is, and always has been, a company founded on Christian values. They’re closed on Sundays, and they try to put Christian business principles into practice in their stores. So why is it a huge surprise that they’re providing food at a Christian-sponsored event?? And, why is that seen as anti-gay? It’s not like they’re saying, “Oh you’re a lesbian? I’m sorry, you can’t eat here.” Plus, if gay people boycott Chick-fil-A, they are only hurting the workers—some of whom are gay.

And finally—good luck convincing people not to eat there. There’s a reason they have a literal fan club. These people will dress in cow costumes or wear pajamas or camp outside of a new store for 2 days just to get free Chick-fil-A. That’s some serious dedication. Eat Mor Chikin y’all!

My Best Friend

Last night I had a dream that my best friend and I had our very first fight. Now, we’ve been friends since preschool, so this was pretty traumatic. I’m not sure what the fight was about, but there was a lot of yelling and hand-waving and walking away, so I’m sure it was a big deal. An old friend was trying to make peace between us, but we were both so mad that we wouldn’t hear of it. At the end, I dreamed that we completely stopped talking to each other and stopped being friends. It was so real that I had to check Facebook when I woke up to make sure we were actually still friends!!

I was pretty panicked because my favorite thing about our relationship is that we never have drama. Even if we disagree, it’s just not a big deal. I know I can tell her whatever and she’ll be cool with it. I also know I can trust her to tell me what she really thinks, instead of just what she thinks I want to hear. We balance each other out pretty well—I tend to get passionate about whatever it is that we’re talking about, and she’s really laid back. We’re both from big families so we relate on that level too. So basically, this is a friendship made in heaven.

Soo Hannah… You’re amazing. You make me laugh, and you make me think. I love being around you, and I admire your faith. I love you girl! So, don’t ever get in a fight with me ok???? Hahaha.

I want to be a...

Like most people, I wanted to be a lot of different things growing up. When I was 6, I wanted to be a teenager. Specifically, I wanted to be 16 years old. For some reason, I thought that when you were 16 you didn’t have to go to school anymore. I thought you got a license and a car and then spent every day at the mall hanging out with your friends and buying things. (I’m not sure where I thought all this money would come from—but that’s a minor detail right??).

When I got a little older—around 13—I wanted to be a lawyer. I have a very strong sense of justice so I thought this would be the perfect job for me. Later on, I decided that judges have more influence, so I decided I was going to be a Supreme Court Justice. (I mean, if you’re gonna dream, dream big!)

When I was a junior in high school, I decided that I wanted to be a journalist. I decided this mostly because the media controls people’s perception of the world/events around them. With this in mind, I went to college in NY, NY my freshman year. However, while I was there I realized that writing wasn’t worth all the stress that journalists face—at least, not to me.

Another thing I had to consider was the fact that I want kids someday. Kids are the most important investment in a person’s life. For this reason, I didn’t want to have my kids in daycare and school all the time while I was off working for material possessions. So, a full-time career wasn’t really an option for me. I know it’s old fashioned, but when I’m a wife and mother, my main priority will be the well-being of my husband and children. What better way can you spend your time than in serving those you love?

So, I was not going to be working full time. So was I just going to be a wife and mother, or was I going to do something else? I think I’ve finally found the answer to that question. I believe that God has given me a heart for women affected by abortion. Ever since I was young, stories of abortion have broken my heart. It’s not just the death of all those innocent babies that hurts me. My heart breaks for the millions of women who have been lied to, and forced into choices that leave them robbed, broken, scarred, and not allowed to grieve for their lost children because “it’s just a lump of tissue.” These women are forced to bear an enormous load of guilt, shame, despair, and grief in absolute solitude because our society does not care about them, or the children they would have had. If I can show even some of these women the love, joy, forgiveness, peace, and hope that my Jesus has offered them, then I will consider my life a success. So, in order to help me accomplish this goal, I’m planning on switching my major to Behavioral Science, which is basically counseling. I want to eventually work part time as a counselor at a crisis pregnancy center.

Whatever I end up doing with my life, I want to remain open to all of the possibilities God has for me. The way to live life to the fullest is to follow God with everything that you are. May He give me the strength to do that.

My Favorite Animal(s)

Ok, so I don’t really know what to write about tonight. I have loads of homework that I am hoping to ignore into oblivion. That usually doesn’t work too well for me though...

The other day, for some random reason, someone mentioned that their favorite animal was a wolf. This got me thinking, and I realized… I don’t think I have a “favorite animal.” This really bugged me—I’m not sure why. I guess not being able to make a decision frustrates me. Horses are pretty. But everyone likes them.

Dolphins are cute and really smart, and they live in the water, which is awesome.

Eagles can fly, which makes me insanely jealous. But, they also eat dead stuff, which isn’t too appealing.

I like dogs but they aren’t super amazing or anything so I feel like they can’t be my favorite animal either. (Although wolves are my favorite kind of dog. They’re cool in an eerie, majestic kind of way.)

So, since I can’t decide… Here are some other photos of animals I like. If I ever pick a favorite I’ll let you know.

It’s so pretty!

Probably because of the Lion King.

Because they’re so creepy they’re cool.

Because their jellybean-sized babies have to crawl up into their mom's pouch right after they’re born.

Because they are the fastest animal on the planet. They can dive at speeds of over 200 mph, pulling 25 Gs. (A normal human passes out at about 5 Gs. Fighter pilots can handle between 8 and 9 Gs.)

Because they’re so ugly, they’re cute.

Because… awwww, just look at them.

Because it’s just so weird looking.

My Take on the Bachelor

Ok, so I’m watching the Bachelor right now. My family had a birthday thing last night so my mom recorded it. It’s highly entertaining. My mom and my sisters and I watch it every week. We make fun of all the drama and talk to the people on the show like they can hear us. (For example, I just yelled, “Oh yeah THAT’S gonna get you a date!” at this one really obnoxious chick. She’s really full of herself.) One thing that really bugs me about this season is how easily Brad is manipulated by these girls. I mean, when a girl comes to you and whines about all the other girls treating her badly, do you not SEE that she’s trying to make you take her side, and dislike all the other girls? Also, I think Brad likes drama waay too much. I don’t care how cute he is, he’s kind of a sucker. Either that or HE’S the master manipulator. Hmmm,I haven’t thought about that possibility before.

Honestly, who goes on this show to find love? You’re fighting 29 other girls for a minute or two with a guy who has no idea who you are, who may or may not be the kind of guy you really want to date. (And chances are, he’s not.) And because you’re fighting for his attention you let yourself think you love him—after 6 weeks of hanging out in a hot tub drinking while he makes out with you AND everyone else. These poor girls. They’re settling for fighting over one guy because they don’t think they have any other option/chance for finding love.

Random bunny trail—do you ever wonder if arranged marriage would work better than this whole dumb dating mess the world is in? I go back and forth. Most of the time I don’t like the idea. But sometimes I feel like maybe it would be easier to just marry someone (who loves Jesus and has good character) and then figure everything out and get to know each other and all that. Because the commitment’s already been made, so there’s really no pressure, right? You can just have fun with it. Plus… then you don’t have to worry about temptation or being in an inappropriate situation. Just saying….