My take on the world.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Many Arrows

As most of y'all know, I'm the oldest of 11 kids.  Yeah, yeah, I've heard all the jokes--multiple times.  "Don't your parents know what causes that?" "Did your parents never watch tv?" "Must be cold at your house during the winter."  They were funny at first, but now I just want to ask people, "Can you not come up with a more original response??"

I get it.  Having a family that big is weird.  Sometimes I will tell people that I'm from a big family and I can actually see them putting me in the box labeled "Crazy." At that point, I always say, very decidedly, "And I LOVE it." Then they move me from the "Crazy" box to the "Really Crazy" box.  Which is fine with me. Because those people aren't hurting my feelings.  I actually feel sorry for them.  Narrow minds.

Here's the deal. My mom and dad used to buy into that worldview too.  My mom had a very decided opinion about people with large families.  "Those children are nothing but a number.  There's no way their parents have enough time to get to know each one of them."  My parents were going to wait and time their children so that they could give them "the best life possible."  However, during their marriage counseling, their youth pastor, Jim Gibson, offered them a foreign--ok, let's just say crazy--point of view.  He encouraged them to go to the Bible and look at God's views on children.  How did He feel about them?  What if God wanted them to trust Him with the number and timing of their children?  After all, God is the Creator of life, the greatest blessing on earth.  But my parents weren't willing to listen. Yet.

My mom was on birth control for around a year after she married my dad.  But God began to change their hearts about having children.  Every time the Bible mentions having children, they are portrayed as a blessing.  In contrast, a barren womb was commonly believed to be a curse.  (Now, I know that this was in the days where the more children you had, the more food you could grow.  I also know that we don't live in those days anymore.  But I don't think God's changed His mind.)  So, my parents began to question.  God says children are a blessing.  Did they really believe that?  Did they really, honestly believe God would only give them children to bless them?  Kids are expensive these days!!!  But... Jesus  said, "Don't worry, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear?' For the idolaters eagerly seek all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you" (Matthew 6:31-33).  Did my parents really believe that?  If God gave them a ton of children, would He provide the money to clothe, feed, and educate them all???  How would they have time to spend with each kid?  What if each kid wound up being "just a number"?  Is it even possible to be a good parent with lots of kids?


And all the while God was saying, "Don't worry.  Trust Me.  Believe my Word."


Belief is never just in your head.  What you believe is shown in your actions.  Who and what you trust is revealed in what you do.  My parents learned this.  So, what were they going to do about it? 


They responded in obedience.  And God blessed that.  He blessed my parents with a lot of things--friends, a house, vehicles, income, food, clothing--but I promise you, if you ask them what the biggest blessing in their life is, they will tell you that it is their children.  They love us.  They support us.  When I was in high school my dad came to almost every single basketball game, even though I "played bench" most of the time.  When I was 6 they carted me and 4 other siblings to soccer practice, and never missed any of our games.  They spend pretty much the whole month of December getting the perfect Christmas presents for every last one of us.  My mom taught all of us to read, write, and learn. My dad takes a different boy to breakfast each Saturday, and a girl to lunch on Mondays.  They are there for every single one of us.  We're all different; we each present a special set of challenges.  They're up to the task.


I've had people tell me, "You know, if there weren't so many of you, you could take a vacation every year.  Go to Disney World or something.  You could do a lot more."  Do you know what pops into my head when I hear that?  I hear, "You know, if Amy, or Caleb, or Michael, or Sarah, or John didn't exist, you could go on a lot more vacations.  You'd get more Christmas presents if Bethany, Jacob, Andrew, Jared, or Joshua weren't in your life."

Guess what? I went to Disney World once. I was 17 and it took my family over a year to save up for all of us to go.  It was absolutely fantastic. But I wouldn't trade a single one of my siblings for it.  And, in order to have a so-called "normal" family, I wouldn't have to trade one sibling. I'd have to trade 8 or 9.  No thanks.  I'll take the craziness please.


All of us with my Granny and Papa.


"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth.
Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate."  Psalm 127:3-5