I'm trying to graduate from Rose this semester, and transfer to UCO in the spring. Well, the first part of this week started with enrollment problems at Rose (meteor #1). After a day or so of switching, dropping, and adding classes--and a few tears of frustration--that situation was resolved. So today, I called UCO to find out about scholarships/financial aid for the spring semester. Well, I was calling about 7 months too late--the deadline for ANY type of financial aid was in February (meteor #2). I was NOT happy about this. I called my mom, crying, yelling, and just generally being unreasonable and upset. It seems like I'm never going to be through with school. Just when I think I've got it all figured out, life happens--and "life happening" usually sucks. This is the point where I start yelling at God (and everyone around me as well). It's usually something like, "God, I'm TRYING here. I'm trying to do what You say, what I think Your will is, and then crap like this happens!!! What am I supposed to do??? What are You telling me?? Do you LIKE frustrating me? Did I do something wrong? Did I hear You wrong? Am I just going in a completely wrong direction with my whole life? Hellooo?!?!?!"
Luckily for me, God waits until I'm done with my temper tantrum before He responds. Then I remember things like "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; think about Him in all your ways, and He will guide you on the right paths." (Coincidentally, this is the verse my little brother John texted to everyone this morning. I should've seen that as a sign of things to come...)
I also remember stuff like, "Be satisfied with what you have, for He Himself has said, 'I will never leave you or forsake you.'"
Or, one of my favorites:
"How great is Your goodness
that You have stored up for those who fear You,
and accomplished in the sight of everyone
for those who take refuge in You.
...Be strong and courageous, all you who put Your hope in the Lord."
(That's part of Psalm 31--go read all of it; it's quite possibly my favorite chapter in the whole Bible. It's definitely in the top 3 anyway.)
When you read about the Israelites turning away from God over and over and over and over again, it's easy to think that they were idiots. Honestly, I quit judging them a long time ago--because I do the exact same thing every single day. I wake up, read my Bible, and promptly go about my day as if I'm in charge. Then something happens to screw up my precious little plans, and I yell at God. Then I remember all He's done for me, and I surrender it all to Him again. Until next time.....
"I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
"May the Lord be praised,
for He has wonderfully shown His faithful love to me
in a city under siege.
In my alarm I had said,
'I am cut off from Your sight.'
But You heard the sound of my pleading
when I cried to You for help."
